Ways to Say, “Don’t Freaking Touch My Baby”




baby in stroller with an adult touching the baby's hands and face

Whether it be a baby’s overwhelming cuteness or the fear of bad ojo, people can’t seem to keep their hands off a newborn baby.

Even though we can totally understand the appeal, germy hands aren’t exactly what you want stroking your 10-day old infant. So I asked on Instagram what are some nice ways of say, “don’t fucking touch my baby” and you guys didn’t disappoint.

Ways to say “don’t touch my baby”

Here are some polite (and not so polite) suggestions on how to ask people to keep their hands off your baby.

Blame it on the pediatrician

“This is [insert baby name here]. Just FYI, his/her doctor says he/she isn’t allowed to be touched by new friends yet, so we’ll have to just say hi for now.”

Wear your baby in a carrier

“I babywear when they are newborns because people are less likely to be grabby. It also lets me drape a blanket over them to again stop…

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