1. When I was newly pregnant, I held my dog and sobbed because I felt bad knowing she’d possibly get less attention once the baby came.
2. Wife wanted McDonald’s pickles. Not Vlasic, not DelMonte, not even Burger King but friggin MCDONALD’S pickles.
So I went to the McD’s down the street and asked to buy like a pound of pickles. Girl said they can’t sell just the pickles, so I said give me 100 hamburgers, extra extra pickles, hold the everything. She goes and gets the manager. I tell him the wife is pregnant and I can’t go back without McDonald’s pickles. He goes in the back, comes out with an unopened tub of pickles and says, “Congratulations. On the house.”
Best McD’s experience ever.
3. When I was pregnant with my…